Voice Dialogue & Parts Work
Understanding the dynamics between Me, Myself, & I.
What is Voice Dialogue AKA Parts-Work?
Have you ever felt like a part of you wants to do one thing and then another part of you wants to do something else? Well, those are literally different parts of you. They are the parts of our ego/ personality that we associate with and identify with and the parts that we decide not to associate or identify with. We can map out those different parts with Voice Dialogue and have a better understanding and, in turn, bring awareness to the inner workings of your psyche through the Aware-Ego process.
The Aware-Ego process provides a way to move out of Duality into Trinity. Expanding the consciousness to be able to hold two opposites or two perspectives/realities/truths at the same time, followed by the realization of a third option.
Parts-Work is the process of moving away from the Paradigm of black and white thinking, of must be only this or that, or of it's either this or that to and-consciousness. This process includes being able to hold those two opposite perspectives and two possibilities and finding a third option. By working with both, we can meet the needs of all parts of you through a third option. It is a form of conflict resolution between you and you.
The Different Selves
You have the Organized, the Manager, the Entertaining, the Pusher, the Responsible, the Peacekeeper, the Pleaser, The Witty or Jokester, The Protector, the Caregiver-self , the Nurturer-self, the Controller, the Judge or the Inner-critic, the Dreamer, the Visionary, the Rebel, the Perfectionist, the Hedonist, the Victim, the Father & Mother, Patriarch & Matriarch, just to name a few.
Do you have different managers that manage your personal life, your life at work, your house cleaning, your dating life, your friend time? Maybe you have a responsible self that wants to take care of your to-do list. In the same breath, you have another manager who is telling you that you need to spend time with your friends/partner/family?
You might have an inner critic that Is telling you that you need to get your body and health in order and, the next minute, it tells you you're pushing yourself too hard and you're not giving yourself any time to breathe and that you have neglected other important aspects of your life.
Do you still hear in your mind, your mom telling you what to do or what you have not done yet and or your father saying you haven't done enough?
These are primary identifiers of "who I am": the part that the "I' is most attached to. These are the selves that the "I" shows the world and that we allow to run our lives. These are the "selfs" that come out of vulnerabilities. They are basically how we learn to survive and how we can get our needs met in the world and to help us deal with our vulnerabilities.
So... How did you learn to survive? Did you learn to survive by pleasing other people? By rebelling? By being responsible or organized? Entertaining? By being demanding and a pusher? By being a peacekeeper?
Our Vulnerabilities
Most of the time, we have primary selves which are there to protect our vulnerabilities and then we have disowned selves. These disowned selves are selves that we were taught not to express or have been rejected or ignored by early caregivers. Therefore, it was made unsafe to "own" those unacceptable selves growing up in our surroundings. This creates fragmented selves and most of them are created by shame, guilt or fear. From that, there was a split between the vulnerable part of you that couldn't get your needs met, and the part of you that was born to protect you and survive the situation.
Sometimes we can see two parts working together in harmony. But unfortunately, the vulnerable part is usually rejected, disowned, suppressed and ignored. Usually, the way you deal with your vulnerabilities mirrors the way the people in your life cope with their own vulnerabilities. The part of us that is disowned completely is usually delegated to the subconscious.
funny fact... we usually carry a lot of the disowned energies and personalities of our parents, a gift from the creator to remind us to reconnect with who we are and lost parts of ourselves.
And that is why voice dialogue is so important. It brings self-awareness and understanding. Questions, such as: What are the relationships that I have with myself? Are they healthy, are they turbulent? Straining? Do they feel out of balance? Are they in harmony and helping each other? Which partnerships work really well together and which ones do not? Do I have a part of me that is misunderstood or neglected and in need of attention?
In my opinion, after emotional vipassana Voice Dialogue would be the second step to self-awareness.
Voice Dialogue opens you up to the consciousness of your mind's inner workings. How can you expect to have a healthy relationship with others if you do not have one with yourself? How can you expect others to understand you and stop misunderstanding you if you misunderstand yourself? How can you expect others to not abandon you if you have abandoned yourself? How can you expect others to trust you if you don't trust yourself?
Do you truly know yourself? Have you taken the time to listen and pay attention? Are there parts of you that hurt? are happy? are oblivious? are angry? are scared? and why? Are there parts of you that are still living in the past in a traumatic event and that are stuck there, reliving it over and over again? Is there a part of you that needs rescuing? Are there parts of you still living in a moment of shame, guilt or fear?
The Modalities of Voice Dialogue & Parts-Work
Voice Dialogue doesn't really focus on trauma but more towards awareness of self. Trauma comes up because those primary selves or disowned selves are holding memories or vulnerabilities. So, of course, it will come up. That is what makes Voice Dialogue unusual compared to something like Somatic Experiencing or Completion Process which are literally designed to deal with trauma. We all have some form of trauma by virtue of the inorganic programming that is running in our society and causes harm to our psyche. Trauma, therefore, in this practice, is a good place to start.
A Higher Perspective on Fragmentation
The selves are part of a natural mechanism. It is a natural mechanism by virtue of being a multi-dimensional human beings. We have it inherently in us with all polarities. We are none of them and all of them at the same time, depending on which Consciousness perspective you are taking.
"As we are one, therefore, we are, as we are all, therefore, we are none."
Fragmentation is also caused by internal and external disharmony within ourselves and the collective. Our individual experiences are what determine how much some selves get pushed to the front and some get pushed to the back of our consciousness and how far back into the subconscious or forward into consciousness they go. This sheds light on understanding of what caused our "selves" to be where they are.
Experiencing Voice Dialogue & Parts-Work
In this process, you will:
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Move into the different perspectives within you and let them speak freely with the guidance and receptivity of a skilled facilitator.
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Find acceptance, understanding and freedom with all the parts of yourself.
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Can integrate, find self-compassion, personal growth, or awareness.
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Get to know the selves that are primary and central in your daily life, listen to and understand their perspectives, motivations, needs, and gifts.
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Come to know vulnerable, neglected and rejected selves that hold energies vital for our wholeness.
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Develop Aware Ego process, the capacity to include and care for our selves with balance and spaciousness, by choice. None of the selves are the 'one true self'. In this process you are not getting stuck in any particular self. You are looking from a bird's-eye view, observing simply as being none of them and all of them at the same time. You view them from a higher perspective and level of consciousness to get a better understanding. This perspective allows you to simply see "what is", with no judgement or preconceived notions. It also allows you to better understand the selves' outlook, their story and habit patterns, their impacts on their opposites and the system as a whole, what needs to be provided and what needs need to be met, and how you can provide them or meet the needs. Looking at the ecosystem of your psyche from this perspective, you get a broader overall understanding, and, hence, better able to find the appropriate solution.
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Voice Dialogue needs to be experienced directly. It’s an embodied, energetic, felt reality. I offer a free consult and a short initial experience of voice dialogue so you can see if it is a good fit for you. Feel free to contact me with any questions or to schedule a consult or session.
What We Can Explore Together
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Awareness and acceptance of your inner voices
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Clarifying your deeper purpose & vision
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Cultivating ease, balance & non-reactivity
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Opening to the deep qualities of being
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Unwinding knots in relationships
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Unfolding the wisdom of dreams
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Embracing & inhabiting difficult emotions
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Healing & expanding the heart
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The relationship with your child and how does it relates to you.
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The mirroring that you're experiencing in your day-to-day life.
History & Philosophy
Voice Dialogue was developed in the early ‘70s by Hal Stone, P.h.D and Sidra Stone, P.h.D, psychotherapists with training in Jungian and Gestalt approaches. It has been used by hundreds of therapists, coaches and spiritual teachers to facilitate consciousness growth.
Hal and Sidra Stone first met when Sidra contacted Hal for training sessions in guided imagery. In their sessions, they discovered the presence of numerous sub-personalities (also called energy patterns or selves) within the human psyche.
They created Voice Dialogue out of love because of the love they had for each other. Their desire to better understand each other was rooted in true love.
This is why Voice Dialogue is so different from what is practiced in mainstream psychology.
Even though mainstream psychology does look at selves to a degree, the difference is that mainstream psychology aims at fixing what is wrong, unlike Voice Dialogue, where it is not about what is wrong or needs to be fixed but about bringing awareness. Facilitators of Voice Dialogue enter a session with someone, with the energy of bringing awareness without pathologizing.
This practice is really rooted in love, and how to create more awareness, more choices, and more capacity to have a good life.
